My husband and I lived directly across the street from that explosion. Our home and cars were destroyed along with several other items. We were home at the time but thankfully we and our dogs escaped without harm.
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As a result of this traumatic event, I have suffered the effects of post traumatic stress. Yesterday on my way home from work, those effects were stirred. As I was driving the interstate, it began raining. I was fine with that until the rain gave way to hail. The further I drove the bigger the hail got. The largest I saw, and that was reported on the news later, was 1 1/2 - 2" in diameter. It looked like golf balls. The sound it made on my car was so loud and so terrifying. The emotions stirred in me were out of control. I began crying profusely, trembling, white-knuckling my steering wheel and experienced pain in my chest. I prayed with everything I had that I would be safe, that the windshield wouldn't crash in and that this awful noise would stop. Out of desperation to hear another person, I called my daughter. I talked to her until I drove out of the storm and was able to calm down a little. It took me a good few hours to get myself completely calmed down. But, when it was all over, I felt so ashamed. I felt like a big baby. Where was my faith? I know before the explosion I was so much stronger than that. All these feelings of shame filled me.
I went to bed that night and prayed for forgiveness for not having more faith. But, God spoke to me this morning through the words of Mark.
Mark 14
v. 33 He took Peter, James, and John with Him, and He began to be deeply distressed and horrified.
v. 34 Then He said to them, "My soul is swallowed up in sorrow -- to the point of death...
Jesus was fully God and fully human and because of that experienced emotions just like we do. He did not sin in His fear or sorrow and neither did I. I had no reason to be ashamed of my fear.
