A Time of Change

I realize it's been nearly a month since my last post about my journey into ministry. With this post I will continue...

I worked as a Christian Counselor in Fort Wayne for a year. For the first five months of that year, I worked as a claims processor at a medical insurance company. I was a single mom working full time as a processor, part time as a Christian counselor and I was beginning to feel the pressure. I wanted to go part time at my processing job. When I made the request, it turned out that the company found me in "conflict of interest" with my counseling. They told me I had to choose them or the counseling...that was a no-brainer!! I chose to do the thing I felt God calling me to. I could feel God rocking my boat. I was actually excited because I knew when God starts shaking things up, it's always a good thing. Not always easy but always good!!!

The last seven months of that year, I continued counseling but God had a major change in my future that I did not foresee...

One Wednesday evening in late February 2003, I got an email from classmates.com telling me that someone was looking for me. My first thought was that it might be my long-lost first love, Tony. He was the one guy I never got over from my high school days. Always a gentleman, very sentimental, and I knew I could trust him. Nah....couldn't be him. IT WAS!!! He had just gone through a divorce and got on classmates.com to see if he could find me among other folks. We began emailing almost constantly and finally, that Sunday, we finally saw each other for the first time. It was so good to see him. We talked and talked about where we've been the past 20+ years and what has happened in our lives. We talked about God and how He had been working in our lives. It was determined very quickly that we wanted to work at this relationship. Well...to make a very detailed and intense story short, Tony and I got married that June. I know it seems awfully quick, but you have to remember, we had known each other for several years. Yes, we both had made some changes, we both had baggage, and there were definitely adjustments that needed to be made. But, we are happy with our choice.  I have married a good man who loves God, loves me and has helped to make a wonderful life for the two of us.

I wrestled with whether marrying each other would be of God or sin. We had both been what you might call, victims of divorce. We didn't want the divorces, our former spouses left us and in my case, for someone else. I poured over scripture, prayed immensely, sought counsel and came to the conclusion that the circumstances surrounding our divorces were such that marrying each other would not be sinful. God truly made His presence known at our wedding ceremony and I knew that this union was blessed by Him.

After I married Tony, my daughter and I moved to Indy where Tony lived and owned a business. I struggled with the move and the grief involved. I missed my family, friends and life in Fort Wayne. I ended up seeing a Christian counselor to help me sort things out and found out that the degree I got and the Masters degree I was pursuing was not from an accredited college and would not allow me to earn the license I needed to counsel in the state of Indiana. I was very upset. After talking it over, Tony and I decided that it was not time or economically feasible to pursue it. My dream was over.

This began what I might call, desert time. A time when I felt as though God had me on hold. It was a very hard time emotionally for me and I really didn't see God using me in my future. But see, that's why God is God and I am not. He had plans...He knew exactly what He was doing and He was preparing and pruning me during this time. Nothing goes to waste with God and this time was no different.

My Heroes in the Faith

In this life, God brings many people into our path. Some of them are brothers and sisters in Christ and some are not. But the ones that are can have a profound effect on us sometimes. I have four people who come to mind that inspire me strongly in my walk with Jesus. They are people I look at and think, "When I grow up, I want to be just like them!!" They are my heroes in the faith. Two of them I know personally and the other two I only know through their ministries and work for God.

The first is a woman I have already blogged about...An Angel In Disguise. Marilyn is such an inspiration to me every time I see her. Though she continues her battle with cancer, her faith in and love for God is contagious!! She knows that the cancer is an enemy and she knows that her God is greater than that enemy. Whether she is delivered from  her battle through a supernatural healing or release from the body that has been inflitrated by it, she knows victory is hers!! I spend only a few minutes with her when I see her but I always come away with a desire to grab my Bible and know my Saviour more!!

Next is a woman I have met through seminary. She and I met last semester where we sat next to each other in a class where we were "kindred spirits"...so to speak. We share a lot of the same beliefs when it comes to Jesus, His sacrifice, His power, His word.... A couple of times I have met with her over coffee and was consumed by her fire for God. We talked intensely and endlessly about God. We talked about how God has worked in our lives and her story was amazing!! This is a woman who God miraculously and instantly delivered from a decades long drug addiction and 10 years of homelessness. As she told me her story, we both sat there, looking over steaming cups of coffee with tears streaming down our faces. Her faith is so contagious!! I left Starbucks that day saying, "My sister, my sister. Thank you God for my sister!!" She is my sister in Christ and I am so glad I know her!!

I have been recently reminded of another hero. Back in the '80s and 90s I often listened to a Christian artist named Jerry Williams who was lead singer for a group called Harvest. He wrote most all of the songs he sang and the lyrics expressed his faith in such a way that would make me want to fight the good fight or weep in the love that God has for me. I saw him in concert several times and every time his fire for God was all consuming and I wanted what he had. Not a wimp in any sense of the word, with a warrior mentality he was not afraid to stand up and declare his faith. He spoke of how he sought God with everything he had and how his heart was to fight for the lost. I recently discovered him on youtube and just watching him perform  I was reminded of that fire and how desperately I wanted it. Though Harvest is no longer around, I still listen to the CDs and am inspired by the Spirit behind his lyrics.

And finally, my newest discovery. Though she's been around for some time, I only just discovered her this past fall. Beth Moore. Her hunger for God's word makes me want to open my Bible and look for buried treasures...and believe me, there are plenty of them. When she shares how she sees God in her every day life through the big traumatic crises and the funny little quirky things that happen, I begin to realize all the ways God shows Himself in my own life. Her passion for the word of God and for Him is...once again...CONTAGIOUS!! She has taught me so much through her studies and has inspired me to really study for myself.

I guess we all have heroes in this life. These are a few of mine...though none are greater than the One who took His Godness, wrapped it in human flesh and walked this earth over 2000 years ago. The One who not only took on the pain and torture of a brutal death on a cross but my sins that caused His Father to look away from Him. The One who conquered sin and death FOREVER for me. No one will ever touch my life and stir my heart like He has...NO ONE.