As Promised...

Today was the day for me to preach at my church. All week long, up to last night, I have been coughing, wheezing and last night the wheeze went into a whistle. But, this morning, I woke up feeling so much better.

It was early, 6:40 when my dog Gracie woke me up to be fed. I was wide awake and really had no desire to sleep. (Act of God right there) So, I got up and decided to spend time watching day break and drinking a cup of coffee with my God. I prayed, read His word and read some of a book I'm reading right now by Beth Moore. (So Long Insecurity) It was a good time with God and I was ready to share the message He had given me for this morning.

My daughter, Chelsi and I went to church together...because my hubby plays in the band, he has to be there earlier...and I was feeling really pretty good. No cough to speak of. I was given my cordless microphone to clip on my clothes, people were asking me if I was nervous (which I was but not real bad), I got all my stuff up at the pulpit (notes, water, Bible) I was ready to go.

When it came time to share the message, I felt a feeling I had felt the first time I ever preached; a feeling like God was pulling me aside and telling me, "Ok. Now separate yourself from your family and friends, go up there and share it like I taught you."

I can't begin to describe what it is like to be able to stand before a congregation full of people and share something that you have felt God calling you to say. To see the expressions on their faces when you tell them God loves them; to hear "amen" when you speak boldly of your faith; and to look into the smiling faces of family and friends as they encourage you. I shared the story of Jesus' final week and hours. How he loves us and longs for us to be with him throughout eternity. We laughed, cried and united during this sermon. It was great!!

The sermon wasn't as long as I think it should have been. Some may have been happy about that, others maybe not. It's tough going from preparing a 9 minute sermon for an Intro to Preaching class to a 20-30 minute sermon for a Sunday service. None the less, the message was strong and truly inspired by God.

I was honored to pray with people who came up front during the altar call. One gentleman was a Christian but just hasn't been walking the walk...so to speak. He needed forgiveness and a boost. Another was a friend of mine who was sharing some of the struggles I presented and prayed with me squeezing my hands tight. It was an awesome time!!

After the service was over, I went to talk with my daughter and gather things up and BAM!! that awful cough came back. By the time I got to the car, I needed my inhaler. Go figure. While it's not as bad as it was, it certainly was put on hold for what God called me to do.

Happy Palm Sunday everyone!! HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST!!!

God's Rockin' the Boat!!

Today I am recovering from another bout of asthmatic bronchitis...second time this year...this month. I have a cough that sounds like a combination of a goose honk and a car that just won't start. I sound like I've been smoking my entire 45 years of life...though I don't nor have I ever smoked. I sound like that Hanna Barbera cat that laughs with a wheeze. I sound like...well. you get the idea. I have been taking prescription cough meds, prednisone, albuterol inhaler, lots of liquids...even Asian Plum white tea...and I now have my hubby heading to the store to get me some cough drops. If I talk or get active at all, the cough is stirred.

This is significant at this point in time because I have been called upon to preach the Palm Sunday sermon at my church. As the day approaches, the cough doesn't seem to want to quiet down...this actually excites me!!

I've seen God work in situations like this and  I believe this one will be no exception. I've seen God rock the boat and allow things to happen that would normally cause me to worry but then use them in such a way that I am in total awe and in no doubt that God is God and I am not.

I recall the time several years ago when I was a single mom and was working at Aetna insurance as a claims processor. I had just earned my Bachelor's degree in Christian Counseling and was working my "practice" on the side. I had a pastor overseeing me who gave me opportunities to minister in my city of Fort Wayne and in Portland, IN. My clientelle was building but not to a point where I could support myself and my daughter on the one job. I requested to go part-time at Aetna so I could do both when they decided that because I was counseling, I was in conflict of interest with my job and had to choose between the two. For me, it was a no brainer...God had called me to do what I was doing. I had just earned this degree and I was not going to throw it away for a job I wasn't that crazy about. Sounds irresponsible maybe, but I prayerfully came to this conclusion. It was scary, but then I got this surge of excitement. "Oh boy!! God's rocking the boat!!" I did end up leaving Aetna shortly after and up to the time I got married and moved to Indy, God provided for us in ways that when I look back still astound me!! I remember a year or so after I moved down here, I was looking at some of my old financial stuff from that time saying, "No way!!" God is amazing!!

So, I believe this is no different. I know God has called me to this sermon, I believe in my heart the message He wants to convey, I know I will be well able...stay tuned. I'll let you know how it goes.

The Mysteries of God

When I last wrote, I talked about how I had two upcoming sermons that were gnawing at me. One of those sermons took place last night in my Intro to Preaching class. It was an interesting process from sitting down to write it to actually presenting the message...

The passage of scripture I had to write about was Proverbs 8. It was about Wisdom and how she cries out to us and how she was birthed or created before all creation and that she was a skilled craftsman alongside God. As I read the passage, I was certain without question that Wisdom was Jesus. I referred to John 1:1-3, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made." Clear as a bell; simple as that; wisdom is Jesus. I put my sermon together, rehearsed it a few times and that night I tossed and turned. Something just didn't feel right. I began praying about it, asking what I was supposed to present. Wondering who was wisdom? Was it possible it was something other than Jesus?

I drove to class on Monday morning as I listened to "The Shack" on CD. A very good book that really makes you think and want more of God. In this book, God is personified as an African American woman, Jesus is a Jewish man, and the Holy Spirit is a woman. But, that morning as I listened, still thinking about my sermon and Proverbs 8, a new character was introduced, Sophia. She was the personification of...you guessed it...God's wisdom. A whole separate entity from Jesus. AAARRGGGHHHH!!! Yes, I literally yelled that as I drove down I-65.

I came home that day and poured over commentaries, read Proverbs 8 and all its referred scriptures over and over. I prayed for insight and wisdom. The next day as I was cleaning my house, I was watching a teaching series by Kathy Troccoli called, "Hope for a Woman's Heart". As I watched her, something came to me that literally warmed me inside and made me want to fall on my knees before God. (I can't do that now because of the hardware and pain in my knee but you know what I mean) I began to realize the mysteries of God. Those mysteries that are just out of my reach but securely in His hands.

I sat down and rewrote my sermon and decided to take my "congregation" on the journey I had just taken. I presented the sermon last night to my class and it was well recieved. One gentleman said he sensed that the mysteries of God were out of reach and yet they enveloped him. I love that!! That's what I felt too.

There are things about God that we will never fully understand with our limited human minds. Unless God reveals it to us, we probably don't need to know. I don't know if wisdom was Jesus. It seems like it could be and yet, it seems like it might be a whole other part of God. None-the-less, wisdom cries out to us and delights in us.

BLESSED IS THE MAN (OR WOMAN) WHO LISTENS TO WISDOM!!  Proverbs 8:34

An Awesome Thing

It's been awhile since I've sat down to write a post for my blog. I just haven't felt an inspiration to write. Since I've gone back to seminary for this spring semester, I've been a bit overwhelmed with studying and reading, reading, reading... But, at the moment, I have something on my mind that I need to share.

I have preached 3 times in my life. The first time was at my mom's funeral, the second was last summer when I filled in for my pastor and the third time was just recently in my Intro to Preaching class. I prayerfully and carefully prepared each sermon and they went well but now I have two upcoming sermons that have me humbly begging God for help.

While I was laid up with my broken knee last fall, I began a personal study on the Bible and what it says it is. I was reminded of things I already knew and grasped things I hadn't heard before. I realized, to my core, that "ALL SCRIPTURE IS GOD BREATHED." (II Timothy 3:16) I realized the importance of the Holy Spirit in determining what a passage of scripture really means. I understand that to try and interpret it with our own limited minds, is to get something that is not God. I realize more than ever the awesome treasure that is God's word.

The upcoming sermon's facing me include a sermon I have to write based on Proverbs 8 and a sermon for the beginning of the Holiest week in our faith. I feel so inept in so many ways. I've never been a "churchy" person. My relationship with God was always a personal thing until just the past couple of years but now I am presenting a very important sermon at a very important time of year and I don't want to drop the ball. Since I have realized the awesomeness of God's word, I don't want to misrepresent, misinform or mistake my agenda for His. Don't get me wrong, I want to do this but I am feeling a bit sheepish.

When I got up this morning, the work I had done on my Proverbs 8 sermon was still ringing in my head and I began to pick it apart. It's not gonna be good enough. Who am I to do this?? I'm so inadequate. I, of course, prayed to God laying my fears and insecurities out before Him only to be inspired to write this blog post and then to read the following..."The Lord said to him, 'Who made the human mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say.'" (Exodus 4:11-12)

It is an awesome thing to be given the responsibilities to teach and preach from the Word of God and I will trust that God will give me the words when I need them and make me well able to handle the task at hand.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!

Focus of a Champion

This past Tuesday, I was watching The Biggest Loser. The contestants were taken to the Olympic Training Center in Colorado to train and eat and live with the Olympic athletes. They were taken to the dining area where very specific meals were prepared for each athlete based on the event they were training in. Some needed high calories, some needed low calories. Some needed more carbs than protein; some more protein than carbs. The training center is where the athletes spent most of their time (Duh!!). Their focus and determination without distraction was inspiring.

On a seemingly different story (they'll work together. Just stay with me) this past Wednesday I had a paper due in my Christologies of the New Testament class. I had to be at school by 2:15 and I was still writing it at 12:45 because I had wasted a lot of time over the weekend and early part of the week watching TV, sleeping, trying to read the assignment I was writing about while watching TV...you get the idea. This was not the first paper I left til the very last minute this semester. Thankfully I got an A on the first one but this one Wednesday....not so sure. I'll find out next week.

The point I'm getting at is this...I believe I've been called to be in seminary at this time in my life to train for the call God has put on my heart. Why do I take it so lightly?? This call is eternally important. To treat it with such laxidazy and disrespect is shameful. Ok...I know I'm human but so are the Olympic athletes.

II Timothy 1:7 says, "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-control." Some translations say self-discipline. I pray that God will help me to draw on that Spirit of self-discipline to get my focus where it needs to be.

God has entrusted all of us with our various gifts and abilities and we need to take it seriously. If we get lazy and distracted, I'm sure He can find what He needs somewhere else. We won't make the Olympics, we'll just sit at home and watch them on TV wondering what might have been.

Freedom

It's been a little over a week since I wrote about the issue of my weight. I am very grateful to all of you who commented and shared your stories and encouragement. I was amazed at how many of us have been "cell mates" in this prison of perfection.

Since I last wrote a lot has happened...First, I have opted to stay off the scale. I can honestly tell you, I have no idea how much I weigh and I don't want to know. I am very tired of bowing down to a number. No more.

Second, I went out and purchased clothes that I really like and bought them in my size. It was quite an adventure. I really thoroughly enjoyed myself. I tried on the clothes in the dressing room and even though they were a size bigger the walls didn't come crashing down, life didn't stop, and, I have to say, I looked good in them. I don't know if there was a two way mirror or any form of security watching me but if there was, they saw me lift my hands and praise and thank God. When I took my treasures to check out, the cashier was a very friendly older lady. I told her, "You have no idea what a major thing this is." I began to share with her my story of gaining weight while laid up and buying a bigger size and how all is still well with the world. She completely understood...as did the woman behind me. Before I knew it, we were all talking and laughing. God provided angels.

Finally, I still am going to physical therapy for my knee. Part of the workout is riding a bike for 8 minutes. On the little screen that keeps the time is also a number that you can set to show RPMs or calories burned....it's always on Calories burned when I get on it so I immediately turn it to RPMs. I don't want to feed the beast.

I feel like God has opened the door of the prison and every one of these steps I've taken are steps out the door. God doesn't want us bowing to the demands of this world. He wants us bowing only to Him and focusing on the things of Him and His Kingdom.

No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer.

II Timothy 2:4    

I'm So Torn

I am an avid football fan. I love the Denver Broncos (as you may know, their season is over) and I enjoy watching Notre Dame games. I'm very much looking forward to the Super Bowl this Sunday, especially since my fair city of Indianapolis is being represented. Back in the day, I used to like watching Golf when Tiger Woods was playing. His focus, discipline and skill were intriguing to me. (Can't tell you how disappointed I am in the latest developments in his life)

With all this said, I have to get something off my chest. Last night, I was watching the news and a sports story came on concerning Payton Mannings (quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts) upcoming contract negotiations. The Colts want him to stay in Indy real bad, so the talk at this point is that he will be offered a $20 million/year contract PLUS a $50 million sign on bonus. This will make him the highest played player in the NFL....EVER!! People!! The man plays a game!!! He strategically throws passes, or hands off a ball to someone to get it through men who are trying to stop him past a line at the end of a field. IT'S A GAME!!!

Tiger Woods is the only billion dollar athlete and he hits a ball with a stick into a hole better than anyone else. He was lifted up as a hero...dare I say, a god...but the hero fell. Why?? Because he is a human being with imperfections, flaws and weaknesses. He is not without fault, he is not supernatural. He is a man.

I can't help but think of my friend in Fort Wayne who is a police officer. I remember her telling me of an incident on the job that could have so easily taken her life. And yet, she continued to put on that uniform and get in her squad car to protect the citizens of Fort Wayne. "No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) It kills me that this woman who risks her life every day she works and even on days when she's off duty has to work part time jobs to make ends meet.

I also think about my step-daughter who is a teacher in public schools. She chose one of the tougher school systems in our area because she wanted to touch the lives of kids who may not have as good a chance as those in other schools. She works long hours, then she comes home and has to work grading papers, preparing lesson plans. She just recently earned her masters degree. She is teaching young minds and preparing them for their future. Yet she and her husband often struggle financially. The public schools were making cuts when the Colts were getting a new stadium and we in Indy were given a tax increase to support it.

The priorities in this country are majorly screwed up!! The highest paid people are not the firefighters, teachers, police officers, even the president. Our military families are often on food stamps and welfare and they are defending our country!! The highest paid people entertain us!! Granted there are the corporate folks who are making good money as well but I'm talking about the people who entertain us and how they not only live like kings but are exalted as gods and godesses. There is only one God. "You shall have no other gods before me." (Exodus 20:3) Think about it.

As you can probably tell, this one bothers me a bit. What do you all think??