Sunday, May 30, 2010

Let The Journey Begin

It's been awhile since I've written a post on my blog. For awhile I was busy with school and the demands of the final couple of weeks of papers and exams. Seminary is over for the summer for me and I can honestly say, I just haven't felt inspired to write. But, today I feel God prompting me to share my journey of how I came to be a seminary student pursuing ordination. It's a bit of a lengthy story and I don't want to leave anything out that God would want me to share, so I'll give it in increments as God leads.

I was born in....nope too far back. :)

In December of 2001, I received my bachelor's degree in Christian Counseling. My goal was to work for myself in a private practice type setting. I had dreams of one day having a place that would be like a coffee shop...big cushy couches and chairs, tall tables and chairs and of course a coffee bar that would offer any type of coffee or soft drink you'd want. There would be that coffee shop type of music piped in and I was going to call it Eaglesong Christian Counseling. I would be able to counsel people in a comfortable and non-threatening environment. I sat for hours designing my logo. Dreamed and prayed about the day when all of this would come to pass.

As I did that dreaming, I was counseling folks in a small office in Fort Wayne, IN and at a church in Portland, IN. I was being overseen by a pastor and was building up a pretty good clientelle for my first year of ministry.

During that time, I had been seeing an orthopedic surgeon for my neck. He had performed surgery on it, fusing C5&6 and was monitoring me on my follow up appointments. One day, while reading the paper, I read a story of a 4 year old boy who had fallen from a 4th story balcony at a hotel he had been staying at with his grandparents. He was a climber and they didn't see him in time. He fell to his death. That little boy was my orthopedic surgeon's son. About a month later, I had an appointment with him. He was changed. He was trying very hard to be his old self but the grief....the trauma wouldn't let him. I had prayed before I met with him that God would give me words when I needed them, and silence when I didn't. I asked doc how he was doing. Christmas had just passed and he began pouring out the pain his family was suffering during this holiday season. I just sat and listened. He wanted to be heard...nothing more. He was weary and broken. He thanked me for letting him talk, then left the room. My heart was so heavy for him and his family.

As I walked to my car after that appointment, God made it very clear to me that my focus...my call was to minister to the grieving. I wondered how God could possibly use me in such a situation. Grief?? What did I know about grief?? Then, I guess you could say a holy, 'DUH!" hit me. I had lost my husband through divorce. I knew exactly what grief was.

A few months later, The American Association of Christian Counselors offered a seminar that would truly change my life.

Next time...