Breath of Heaven

This morning, I was getting ready for church when I turned on Christian radio on the internet. With the Christmas music season upon us, they were playing "Breath of Heaven" performed by Amy Grant. The memories that stirred within me as I listened to that beautiful song brought tears to my eyes.

In 1994, after a devastating unexpected divorce, I found myself the single mom of a terrific six year old girl, Chelsi. I spent nine years raising her on my own and there were times when I wondered if I was up for the task. I loved her so much and yet felt inadequate to be mom AND dad to her. God had entrusted me with her and I didn't want to let either of them down. I remember driving to and from work listening to Amy Grant sing "Breath of Heaven" on my tape player in the car. Though I know this song expressed the fears and doubts of Mary as she carried the Son of God in her womb, I could relate to two specific verses...

I am waiting

in a silent prayer;

I am frightened,

by the load I bear

In a world as cold as stone,

Must I walk this path alone

Be with me now

Be with me now

Do you wonder, as you watch my face,

If a wiser one should have had my place?

But I offer all I am.

For the mercy of your plan.

Help me be strong

Help me be

Help me

I recall the tears streaming down my face as I'd drive down the snowy road and sing this song as a prayer. I was always comforted and warmed by the refrain as I sang...

Breath of Heaven

Hold me together

Be forever near me

Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven

Lighten my darkness

Pour over me your holiness

For you are holy

Breath of Heaven.

It was times like this that I found my relationship with God become more intimate, dependent and more powerful. I found that I could completely rely on God for strength to hold me up when I couldn't do it myself. Just as Gabriel had told Mary, I knew: "...nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37)

I wouldn't trade that time for anything. It was then that I fell in love with Him.